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| Wednesday, February 1, 2006 |
| Epiphany |
Have you ever had those days . . . moments really where something becomes really clear? Almost obvious that you feel like slapping yourself for not seeing it earlier. Well I had one of those moments a week or so ago, ya I know I'm a little late at writing it. My daughter getting sick and work have a way of pushing things to the backburner.
So here's the epiphany that I had, I was either laying in bed or in my car traveling between work and home . . . oddly enough that's where I do most of my thinking. True I do a lot of thinking at work, yup my job allows me to do thinking and working at the same time . . . then again I might be my mutant power. I'm getting side-tracked. For the past 9 months or so things have seemed to take a down-turn, my energy has dropped, a few pounds gained, not really keeping up on my house as much as I did . . . I just lost my drive in so many things. Being a single mom I automatically attached the whole drop in mood and self-esteem to that lack of guy I had in my life. Maybe still clinging to the last Love, which was pissing me off cause I thought I was over him long ago. Well stupid me never put piece 1 and 2 together. Count back about 9 months and what happened . . . one of my best friends told me that she didn't want to be friends anymore . . . via e-mail. She sort of tore me down, this whole thing coming out of no-where. I remember calling in sick the next day, coming down with a nasty bug that lasted nearly 2 weeks before I fully shook it. It's not the first time I've had a friend leave, but it was a first for someone to tare me down . . . someone I saw as a sister. We even talked about growing old together, buying two sides of a duplex and building a pass-thru in the kitchen so we could say hi when we wanted to. Then to be told 2 weeks later that I was a bad friend, co-worker, mother, etc spun me a bit. I honestly thing that it was friend heartbreak that caused my downward spiral.
The good news - I've identified the problem. I'm not stuck on my past. And I'm bent on pushing thru.
The bad news - I need to find a new friend or two. I have one super friend who I see/talk with about once a week. She's a busy girl, getting married in October to. There's talk about them moving to Colorado, which means I'll be without a close-by best friend.
I'M A GIRL DAMN-IT!!! I need someone to gossip with, see sappy movies with, listen to me bitch about stupid things, give me advise when I need it. Go shopping with . . . talk hair and boys, you know all that girly stuff you see in chick-flicks.
Question of the Day: Why does body hair grow faster then the hair on your head? Is it cause you want it there and not everywhere else? |
posted by Heidi @ 11:10 AM  |
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